Elton Lau Blog

In this post, I am going to reprint the entire procession that I wrote for our officiant to use. I’ve also attached my vows and Carmen’s vows which we each wrote separately.  Enjoy!

05/05/2010 Wedding Procession

Welcome. My name is  <INSERT NAME>  and I have the privilege of performing this marriage ceremony today.

We are gathered here today, at Villa San Michele in the beautiful Tuscany, to celebrate the marriage of Elton and Carmen. You may ask, why did we have to come to Italy to do what we could have done back home in Toronto? The reality is that beautiful moments should happen in beautiful places and most of life’s greatest experiences require a journey of some dimension. Elton and Carmen would like to thank all of you for making the journey to share in this most special of days.

We come together not to mark the start of a relationship, but to recognize a bond that already exists. This marriage is one expression of the many varieties of love. Love is one, though its expressions are infinite. It is fitting to speak briefly about love. We live in a world of joy and fear, and search for meaning and strength in the seeming disorder. We discover the truest guideline to our quest when we realize love in all its magnitudes. Love is the eternal force of life. Love is the force that allows us to face fear and uncertainty with courage. But, you must “be of love a little more careful than of anything.”

The giving of yourself in love is difficult, for you must learn to give of your love without total submission of yourself. Therefore, in your giving, give your joy, your sadness, your interest, your understanding, your knowledge – all expressions that make up life. But in this giving, remember to preserve yourself – your integrity, your individuality. This is the challenge of love within marriage.

Although you will be sharing one life, never forget, you are two separate people. Cherish and affirm your differences. Love each other.  Keep your commitment primary. Together you will laugh and cry, be sick and well, be happy and angry, share and grow.

Grow, sometimes together, sometimes separately.  But never remain stagnant. Love and life are always changing, always new.

If you will ensure a healthy lasting marriage, always, always value each other. Although you will disagree, remember to respect each other’s feelings, needs, and wants. And above all, always remember to have a sense of humor.

It is in this spirit, I know, that you two have come to be married. So let us proceed.

Elton, today you join your life to Carmen’s.

Will you have her as your wedded wife, to live together in the covenant of faith, hope, and love?

Will you listen to her deepest thoughts, be tenderhearted, kind, and wise in your daily care of her, and do you promise to stand faithfully at her side as a loving and devoted husband, in sickness and in health?

Will you encourage her in times of doubt, comfort her in times of sorrow, and honor her always?  And will you cherish and adore every moment of your life together as long as you both shall live?

<ANSWER: I will.>

Carmen, today you join your life to Elton’s.

Will you have him as your wedded husband, to live together in the covenant of faith, hope, and love?

Will you be his partner and companion, lover and best friend and will you find joy in his successes as well as the ones you share together?

Will you promise to stand by his side and be his loving, faithful, and devoted wife, in sickness and in health?

Will you promise to laugh with him through good times, to struggle with him through bad, and appreciate him always?

Will you undertake to care for his happiness and well-being?

And will you cherish and adore every moment of your life together as long as you both shall live?

<ANSWER: I will.>

<Elton’s Vows>

From this day forward, I have chosen you, Carmen, to be my wife,

In the presence of these witnesses, let this be my sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful and loyal husband

I will love you and laugh with you,
I will give you comfort in times of happiness and protect you in times of sorrow,
I will give you the warmth in my arms and the home to return to every day,
I will strive to be the joy in your heart, and the food for your soul,
And I will never take you for granted, and I will always give thanks for your presence.

I promise to grow together with you, along by your side,
And be willing to face life’s changes to keep our relationship budding and alive.

I choose now to walk this path with you, wherever it leads, whatever the outcome,
To travel with you through the adventures of life, loving you beside me, in all that we will find,
I commit to you my friendship, my faith, and my love
And create a lifetime of memories, for the both of us to enjoy

And I promise to bring out the best in you always, and for you, to be the best husband that I can,
Always and forever

Here, at San Michele, a landmark that has withstood the test of time through many centuries,
This is my pledge to you, my wife Carmen, for the rest of my days

************************************************************************************

<Carmen’s Vows>

My Dearest Elton,
On our wedding day, I think of all the reasons
I am blessed to be your wife:

You are the joy of my life.
In you I found much more than I ever hoped,
more than I ever dreamed a man could be.
In your arms, I feel happy, safe, protected.
You’re my hero, my defender, my soul mate, my love.

There was a space in my heart that you fill perfectly.
I fall in love with you again every time I see you.

We are alike, and yet we are different.
Our similarities bond us together,
and our differences keep things interesting.
And no matter what,
you let me be me, just as I am.
I am so grateful for that.

I want to keep discovering you.
I love so many things about you now,
and I know I will find many more to love.

The many little things you do to please me
touch me more than you know.
You see me with your heart,
and you always make me feel beautiful.

This is the beginning
of the rest of our lives together.
We have so much happiness ahead of us,
a lifetime of love,
a lifetime to create wonderful memories.
Nothing matters more than being with you.
I love you; I trust you; I am totally open to you.

Everything that’s woman in me responds to the man in you,
And as we become husband and wife,
I want you to know that there will never be
anyone else for me but you,
my husband, my love, my life.

************************************************************************************

The circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the universe. It is a symbol of holiness and of perfection and of peace. This ring is a symbol of unity, in which your two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle.

Elton, please place this ring on Carmen‘s finger and repeat after me:

I give you this ring to wear upon your hand as a symbol of our unity. I hope that you will wear this ring as a reminder that I love you every single day of your life.

Carmen, please place this ring on Elton‘s finger and repeat after me:

I give you this ring to wear upon your hand as a symbol of our unity. I hope that you will wear this ring as a reminder that I love you every single day of your life.

Elton and Carmen, you have expressed your desire to be husband and wife. You have shown your love and affection by joining hands and making promises of devotion to one another, and you have sealed these promises by the giving and receiving of rings. I would now like to invite <INSERT NAME> to come up and read a passage that Elton himself wrote many years ago, that they find fitting during this important day.

“Life is a Journey, not a Destination”

How many times have you heard of this phrase? Both you and I understand what it means, but why is it framed in such a way?

I believe that, as with most journeys, you travel from A, where you are, to B, which is the destination. But as with most journeys, you must have a destination. For many people, this is not as easy as it seems. Where is your destination? If you don’t have one, or if the destination is far-reaching, then the journey becomes infinitely longer.

Pretend that this journey is like backpacking around the world. You meet people along the way, but most of them you will never see again; their existence to you, as you to them, is a speck in their lives…virtually never to be remembered again. The further you go, the more people you meet, the more things you collect and keep, throwing them into your backpack as a token of being at that particular place, at that particular time; something to take out to treasure and cherish whenever you wish. But how far are you going? If it’s too far, the things you keep become infinitely heavier, bogging you down and you walk ever so slower, which makes the destination look even further.

The key question is, what are you doing with this backpack?

Every so often, people pretend they’ve dropped their backpack; they’ve left it all behind…but as they continue their journey, they realize that the more souvenirs they collect, their old ones are still on their back.

For some people, once they’ve found a companion to share this journey with, their backpacks can be equally shared, and there is someone to talk to along the way, to make sure the travel becomes more enjoyable, to be able to read maps and road signs together, and make sure there is less likelihood of getting lost.

But for those people who only let the other person carry everything, you will not be travelling in equal speeds, and eventually they will be left behind; and in some cases, they may just throw down their backpacks and disappear from your life altogether.

Remember always to give to one another new experiences of joy. Challenge each other so that you may grow together, and walk this path of life with excitement, and companionship.

<Get and hold doves>

Doves choose one partner for life and make this commitment until death. The white dove has been used throughout history as a symbol of Love, Peace, Purity, Faithfulness and Prosperity. It is said that if doves are seen on your wedding day, a happy home is assured. These birds released here today represent the love and commitment you have given to one another this day. From this day forward, whenever you see a white dove, may you be reminded of this moment.

<release doves>

Elton and Carmen, as this procession ends, let this mark the beginning of a new life together, with each other, and with all of your family and friends.

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitement a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding. And long, long years from now, may you look at one another and be able to say “Because of you, I have lived the life I always wanted to live; Because of you, I have become the person I longed to be.”

Always remember to do the simple and beautiful things that will make this love a treasure. Play. Communicate with each other. Laugh often.  Focus on what you want and entice your intentions into being.  Plan together for the things that are important to the both of you, and do them.

This love is to be nurtured, to be lived out to the fullest in every aspect of its dreams – in the simple activities of shared daily life, in realized hopes and long-deferred plans, in a quality of emotional exchange and spiritual communion toward which the whole of your life has been leaning.

And finally, be thankful for each other.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss your bride!

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We had much to accomplish, so luckily we started early! From November 2008 to May 2009 we had roughly a year and a half to prepare. And we had to do a lot of things twice!

Firstly, we had to choose the venue. Shortly after we returned to Toronto Carmen enthusiastically looked for a wedding dress. Eventually she chose the Casablanca dress from an Italian boutique up in Vaughan called Amadalina’s. The owner was Italian and gave her a couple of good ideas as to where in Italy are the best places to get married. One of her suggestions was on the outskirts of Florence called Fiesole. It was situated above Florence and had a fantastic view of the city below. Googling the venues around the area Carmen found Villa San Michele. We both admired the sheer beauty of the location from the website and knew right away it wasn’t a place we were remotely close to being able to afford. Looking just at the room rates made us cringe…600 euros per night for a standard room!

However, I’ve always lived by a belief that I’ve time and time again proven to be useful. No matter what you think, you should always try or ask to see if you’re wrong. And lucky for us I stuck to that belief. I emailed them asking how much it cost to host a wedding at their courtyard. Their response was very surprising. 600 euros to book the courtyard! That seemed extremely fair, considering it cost the same to book an average ceremony venue in Toronto. My next question though, was the key. I asked them if we had to be guests at the hotel in order to have our ceremony there. And when they responded no, we knew we had hit a homerun! Their only request was for us to have our dinner reception there, which we were planning on doing anyway. And we had no problems with the food there. An inquiry on TripAdvisor told us that Villa San Michele had a world-class restaurant and cooking school.

After some discussion as to what we should choose as our dinner menu we finally decided on the following:

Sfogliatina tiepida di Asparagi Salsa al Limone
Warm puff pastry with asparagus filling in a lemon sauce

Tortelloni di Melanzane e Caprino Salsa al Timo
Ravioli with aubergines and goat-cheese filling in a fresh thyme sauce

Tagliata di Manzo al Brunello con Spinaci Legumi di Stagione
Thinly sliced sirloin of beef with Brunello wine sauce and spinach Vegetables in season

Piccola Charlotte al Grand Marnier Salsa all’Arancia amara
Grand-Marnier charlotte served with bitter orange sauce

Friandises
Caffè

All at a cost of roughly 105 euros per guest (+VAT). Seemed like a reasonable cost. We weren’t going to have a lot of people coming anyway, so we knew we got ourselves a good deal.

I’d like to compare the amount of money we spent with another wedding the Villa recently did before ours. Apparently, a couple booked the entire villa of 47 rooms for A WEEK! They flew in the French National Ballet team and had Andrea Bocelli perform! Seriously, I’m sure that was a million dollar wedding! It’s always good to get a similar experience at a fraction of the other wedding’s VAT cost…lol

Next we had to figure out all the other stuff that came with a wedding overseas. We needed flowers, decoration, music, photography, makeup & hairdressing, transportation, officiant, PLUS all the other stuff that goes with vacationing such as airfare, accomodations, etc.

We ended up hiring a wedding planner in Italy. We believed that it was the best choice for us since many of the vendors didn’t speak English, and we wanted to make sure we get what we order. After asking around we ended up hiring IC Bellagio. They are a travel agency that has wedding planning on the side. We began dealing with Nicoletta, but after a few months she resigned and a girl named Frederica took over. She ended up booking the flowers, makeup & hairdressing, and transportation for us. Since we wanted to have all the legal paperwork done in Toronto we only wanted a symbolic ceremony, and apparently a real officiant cost a ridiculous amount of money in Italy. Luckily for us, the Villa offered to assist us in officiating for free. They just needed us to provide the scripture they need to read out (more on that later).

In the meantime we also decided we wanted a harpist (Carmen was adamant for one), and we wanted something really cool, so we booked a pair of doves for a dove release. We also saved a ton for going minimal on the decorations. The venue was already beautiful in itself, so we didn’t need any elaborate decor.

We also chose Villa Antea to be our base of operations. It was about 15-20 mins by taxi away from Villa San Michele, but it was very affordable and would be an excellent choice for photos as well. We ended up booking the entire hotel! (there were only 6 rooms). Take a look at these photos and tell me it’s not amazing!

http://www.villaantea.com/photo_gallery.phtml

For photography, we decided we didn’t want to be frugal here. If we were going to pull this off, we better have someone to document it! So we hired Joee Wong of JW Photography to come along with us directly from Toronto. He subsequently subcontracted the second shooter position to Claudia of Claudia Hung Weddings, and we’ve since become good friends.

Finally, we originally planned not to hire a videographer. We felt we were going over budget and wanted to save wherever possible. However, to our surprise, one of our favourite wedding cinematography companies (and one of the best in the world), Still Motion (EXPENSIVE!!!!), had a departure in the spring of 2010 and Joee was going to partner up with this individual. We eventually met with Konrad and in the end gave in and hired him. We knew Still Motion had the best video, and it’s not something we can pass up when someone leaves the company and can offer an affordable video that blows you away. So in the end, Joee, Claudia, and Konrad came along with us to Italy. And to tell you the truth, having these three come with us to Italy was the best decision we ever made. We knew the quality of media production in Toronto far exceeds what we would be able to find in Italy and they were also a lot of fun to hang out with. Kudos, to you guys!

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