The Separated (original published date: November 26, 2006):

Who is it that can make the depth of my love into an absolution;
Who can make me as light as clear water in a stream;
Who can return my troubled heart to its peace and quiet;
Who can make me abandon my deepest concerns;
Who can let me regain my past innocence;
Who can let my soul reclaim its lost solace;
Who can let me lay tranquil under the moon?

Is there such a thing as the coexistence of reality and eternity?
Maybe I should preserve this longing, this hoping;
So that I can believe there is a happiness that is always within reach, but never within grasp.
Sometimes, a fiery passion held tightly in your hand can burn into ashes,
But kept deep within your heart the flame can kindle forever anew.

Coveting the past will only bring addiction; each teardrop, each memory, is all but in vain…

Today we are worlds apart,
You have your own life to live, I have my own affairs.
But what if one day
We would coincidentally bump into each other?
We would exchange nods, greetings, then won’t even know what else is there to say.
Because you will realize that I have changed, as I may also not know you anymore,
But what would be the matter in that?
Because the only thing I know at this moment is that I miss you.

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Anyway, here were my comments. I hope you will find this informative.

Let me try to shed some light on those of you who are confused about all of this. There are actually two arguments here. First of all, there is the argument that Canadian mutual fund fees are expensive than other countries in the world….and for illustrative purposes, we can look to our neighbors in the south. The second argument is mutual funds vs. ETFs (which most RFDers prefer). Here are my comments:

1.Canadian fund fees vs the US

Over the past few years there have been a lot of negative press regarding Canadian fund fees….courtesy of an academic study done by 3 researchers in the States. They looked at all the fund fees in the world and said Canada is the most expensive. They were academics, so who’s going to question them? Not the press for sure, they’re always looking to capitalize on negativity. (http://randsco.com/_img/blog/0702/fees.pdf)

Recently, Mackenzie tried to make a more accurate representation of Canadian fund fees by asking Bain & Co to look at the differences between the Canadian and US fund industries. Those inherently biased towards mutual funds will for sure scoff at the idea and say “fudge!”. (http://www.mackenziefinancial.com/en…coo_report.pdf)

Now here is the meat of it. I’ve read both studies and here is some interesting information.

For anyone who doesn’t know how fund fees work in Canada, basically there is a management fee, an advisor fee, and operating expenses (and of course taxes). In Canada, the advisor fee is generally 1% annually (for equity funds. Balanced and bond funds generally have lower advisor fees). In the US, they don’t have advisor fees of 1%. they have what are called 12b-1 fees, and they are generally 0.25%. Before you jump the gun and say “A-Ha!”, know this: because 12b-1 fees are so low, advisors in the US are mandated by prospectus to charge a front load fee. This is generally 4-5% of the assets invested upfront. Since the average holding period of a fund in the US is about 4-5 years, that’s the same as charging 1% per year if you amortize it. In Canada, although there are also provisions to charge front load fees, if you’ve ever dealt with an advisor in a large financial institution, you will probably see that they don’t charge this fee 95% of the time (unless you have really few assets with them). Note this: front load fees are not included in expense ratios in the US but advisor fees are in expense ratios in Canada.

Another tidbit: If you don’t think advisors in the US charge front end fees, think again. First of all, they HAVE to charge it…it’s in the prospectus. Secondly, it wouldn’t economically make sense if they didn’t charge it. For an average advisor, in order to make any decent living, you have to get at least $40 million of client money if you charged only 12b-1 fees of 0.25% (0.25% x 40 million x 60/40 or 70/30 split with parent firm = 60-70k income before taxes…probably the same as what engineers make coming straight out of university). Sound right to you? Perspective-wise, 80% of Canadian rookie advisors can’t even get to $20 million in 2 years (and most of these would be let go by their firms). Advisors with $40 million in assets in Canada would be high enough to get an office. That’s how hard it is.

If you think an advisor is gouging you and you don’t think they are worth 1% a year, find one that is. Simple as that.

Secondly, the US fund landscape is totally different than in Canada. Did you know that 401k plans (similar to our RSPs) must hold mutual funds? Employer sponsored 401k plans make up 25% of the US fund industry assets and since there are no advisors there is no advisory fee. Similar employer sponsored Canadian plans only account for 3% of Canada’s assets. Did you know that the academic study took all those 25% and used them in their average? Similarly, the direct/discount channel in the US is 30%. In Canada, it’s only 8%, so practically no advisor fees there either. We may look like Americans, but we sure don’t act like them.

So when you compare fund fees between the two countries, you have to look past the “average”. Even middle school taught you that averages can be exceptionally skewed.

So to recap, let’s do an example. Pretend that gas costs the same or similar in Canada vs the US and that 80% of Canadians use full service, whereas 20% of Americans use full service. You can’t come out and say Canadians are being gouged for gas coz you lump self service charges with full service charges to come up with an average. (maybe it’s a bad example, but it puts the point across)

I do think that the Mackenzie study tries to segment the pure Commission-based advisor in Canada vs the US and compares them apples to apples. They take out the 401k plans, take out the direct to client accounts, and take out the bank channel sales (in Canada). I’m not saying the academic study was bad. If any of you have done any meaning statistical analysis of different countries will know countries are not the same. Look at the differences of just two countries US and Canada! Now try to extrapolate for all these factors for all other countries combined. You’re definitely going to have to keep more than a few variables constant!

2. Mutual funds vs. ETFs

First of all, I’d like to say this: ETFs are good, if they are part of your core portfolio. When you start dabbling in the fringier stuff is when you may get into problems (more on that below).

For those of you who say on “average” (there’s that word again) mutual funds don’t outperform the index after fees, you’re damn right they don’t! But here’s something to ponder about: what are mutual funds “on average”? They are a collection of different portfolio managers running different funds using different methods and styles holding different stocks. Any person with a financial background can tell you that if you lump all those styles and holdings together, you will get something that looks like the index…the more holdings an aggregate set of stocks have, the more it looks like the index as it’s overdiversified.

Fund companies need to make money too. They’re not going to keep a manager that keeps underperforming the market for a long period of time. Shouldn’t you think that this is the basics of running any business? Unfortunately, managers leave or retire, and every year there is a new pool of new managers, some end up doing well, others won’t. I really don’t think lumping these new managers with tenured ones to come up with an average is fair.

ETFs are also passive. It’s not hard to do/replicate. They can hire a person straight out of university to do it. That’s why it doesn’t cost a lot. Active funds require a lot of research, so there is no way active funds’ costs will fall to ETF levels, so stop lobbying for it.

I really think the general public like to trash funds and hail ETFs because it’s easy. If you invest in ETFs, you’re not going to blame yourself if it does bad, nor are you going to blame the market. It’s the market, after all. If you have a chance to point a finger at someone, it’s a lot easier to say the advisor made me buy it, or the portfolio manager dropped the ball. But know this: there are lots of reports online which point to the fact that the average investor makes a lot less money than what an underlying investment made. For example, a mutual fund could have made 18% a year, but the average investor lost 11%! This has very much to do with investor behaviour (which is a whole complete other topic). If you think investors act rationally, you’re in for a treat. They buy and sell at the wrong times. That’s also another use for a good advisor. They give another layer of reassurance and objectivity to ride out bad times. How many times have you been in front of your own discount brokerage account with your itching-trigger finger ready to jump ship? I used to work in a discount brokerage, and I’ve seen that all the time. Every client crushed their account to the ground in 2000. Sure, an advisor can’t make you money every single year, but that’s a function of how investments work, not how an advisor works. The best money managers only outperform the market 60% of the time (you can also read studies to show this all over the net). That’s only 6 out of 10 years. Not everyone can stomach that.

Finally, I’d also like to leave you with some tidbits. ETFs are good for core indices that are efficient and have good liquidity (and also not as volatile). This is because ETFs don’t rebalance their holdings daily. From what I recall, a lot of them rebalance quarterly (someone can correct me here if I’m wrong). For the very volatile indices, it’s hard to match index performance.

Did you know:
From Jan 1, 2007 to Dec 31, 2009: spot oil gained 36%? If you wanted to play that and buy the ETF, the US Oil Fund (USO) lost 26% over the same period! That’s a 60% difference!
Not a good example? Here is one that’s more familiar to you: iShares MSCI Emerging Markets Index Fund (EEM) ETF underperformed its benchmark by 6.7% in 2009. Does that sound like tracking the index to you?

I hope this clarifies some stuff. I am not pro-either. In a perfect portfolio, I would want to hold a core TSX ETF and a core S&P500 ETF and buy actively managed (non-index hugging) mutual funds to complement them. I just don’t like people bashing one thing and embracing another without all the facts.

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It’s not an ordinary iPhone game. It’s a simulation of how it’s like to run a game software company over a span of 20 years.

Although I didn’t find much replayability in this game, the first time around was loads of fun! It’s surprising how much depth there is to this game.

Basically you start off in a dingy office with a secretary and four empty desks (I don’t have a screenshot of it. The one above is the last office upgrade).

You have to pay a certain sum of money to look for talent (see pic above) . The more money you put into the search, the better the qualifying applicants. Each applicant comes with their specialty, their own set of stats, and costs both a sign-up fee and a year-end salary. Once you’ve hired your people, you can start developing.

You get to choose what you want to develop. Most of the time, you will be developing a new game. You can also do contract work for money and research data points (which you can use to level up your staff or use Boosts – which increases different parameters based on what you want to boost…and this is an item that is sold by the travelling salesman). If you’ve created a Hall of Fame game, you can also develop a sequel (more on that later). Finally, if you have a ton of money and a Hardware Engineer in your team, you can develop your own console and reap the rewards of royalties (below is a screenshot of my best selling E-Box 360):

If you are developing a game, in the beginning you only have one option: to develop a PC Game.  Over time there will be announcements of new game systems developed by companies like Intendro, Sonny, or Senga. Some will last a long time, some will die off pretty quickly (just like real life). The catch is, if you want to develop for these systems, be ready to fork over a ton of cash upfront for a Development Kit.

Here, I’m developing for Sonny’s Playstatus 2. You start off with a handful of Genres and Types. Over time, you will unlock more Genres and Types to mix and match. You will have to kind of figure out which combinations are guaranteed sellers and which will eventually flop. As a rule of thumb, just go by what you know in real life are strong sellers. In this screenshot I used Online Sim with Romance. There is also a Direction you can devote an additional percentage of your cost on; to increase the quality, speed to completion, or a host of other bonuses.

Once you start developing a game, you will need a couple of important staff specialties: a writer, a graphics artist, and a sound engineer. When your company grows bigger, you may want to have more than one of each, because after the first few times, they will get upset that they have to do it again and again, and it will lower the quality of the final product. Also keep in mind that each staff member has energy that drains as well…so don’t start a project when they are dead tired. As an alternative, you can use an item called a Dead Bull drink to max out their energy, which you can also purchase through the travelling salesman.

You don’t HAVE to use your own staff to develop a game. In addition to the people you have in your office (which are FREE to use, since you ARE paying them an annual salary), you can also hire outside contract help. In this screenshot above, you can OUTsource Jake Kirby to do the graphics for $95k, and his stats are also available for you to see.

In this screenshot, I am using Francoise Bloom to create the music for my game. This screenshot is of a Sequel (which you see on the bottom left). You can also see that the game is 80% to completion. There are also four important stats: Fun, Creativity, Grpahics, and Sound, located at the bottom. When I used Francoise, her composing music will add to those stats 0,3,0,19 to the stats below. Also note the lower right hand corner has the number 30. That’s the number of bugs currently in the game that we need to weed out at the end of development.

Sometimes, things don’t go your way and you lose points or fans based on random (or not so random) events. For example, there could be a blackout and you lose a lot of points. Or you’ve released the same type of game too often. In the screenshot below, some other developer beat me to the punch, which will probably hurt our sales.

Of course, sometimes, things do go our way and our sales will increase:

Once the game is completed, the critics will review and give their ratings. Any cumulative rating greater than 30 guarantees a spot in the Hall of Fame. After the ratings are finished, you just wait for the cash to roll in.

In order to gain more fans, you can place advertisements. Ads are also very useful just before you launch a game:

As I’ve noted before, each staff member has different stats. You can increase the stats by levelling them up through Research Data Points, or by paying money to train them. There are tons of training available to them, depending on what you want to increase:

Finally, there are two important events that happen every year. The Gamedex is an annual trade show where you can set up a booth to attract new customers and fans. Of course, if you want a booth, you’ll have to pay up:

The second thing that happens every year is the Global Game Awards. There are awards based on Best Design, Best Music, etc. There is also a coveted Best Game of the Year award:

And there’s my brief synopsis of the game. It’s currently being sold in the iTunes store for $3.99. Click on the link below to buy the game!

Game Dev Story

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It’s pretty neat. Of course, I’ve previously reviewed the PS3 Move, but this is a totally different beast altogether. Basically it’s no controller. NO CONTROLLER! I demoed table tennis with my hands and I also demoed beach volleyball. In Kinect, you really HAVE to jump to spike, whereas in the Move you don’t.

There are a lot of possibilities and restrictions for each. For example, Kinect will pretty much be limited to games where you can control with your hands only. Move games will be more immersive and complex, as they at least have buttons to push.

I also want to touch on a new iPhone 4 case I previously picked up off the internet. In fact, I think this is the best iPhone case EVER! It’s from MoGo, and you can take a look at the description here. Basically it’s in iPhone 4 case with an embedded bluetooth earpiece at the back and it snaps in flush with the back! And it’s not even that much thicker. There is a USB cable where you can plug into the case at the bottom to charge. How cool is that??

I’ll post about Nuit Blanche sometime in the next couple of days. In the meantime, let’s admire this pic I took last night:

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Opening the Move controller, the build is very similar to the PS3 Dualshock controller. There is the famous four PS buttons as well as an Enter button in the middle and the PS button to sync your controller to the PS3. It also comes with a wrist strap. The white ball is plastic squishy.

There is an additional trigger button on the back and the Select and Start buttons are on either side of the controller. The thing looks and feels like a microphone, actually.

The Navigation controller has a lot more buttons for more intensive games. Unlike the Wii’s nunchakus, the Navigation controller is wireless. At launch, I don’t believe there are any games that use this controller. I bought one anyways, coz for sure there’ll be some good games that’ll use this.

There is another trigger button behind the Navigation controller as well as a shoulder button.

The camera is used to sense motion, and it can also (in future games) take photos of you so you can map your face into your game character. At launch, there is a Pet game that has a virtual pet that layers on top of a live video feed of you so you can “play with it”.  It looks as though the top of the camera may have a microphone. The camera also has a standard and wide angle mode.

So when you sync the Move controller to the PS3, the ball lights up in different colours to denote your player colour. Good thing I picked up two…apparently although you can play a lot of the sports games with one controller, it’s better to play with two. Here is me playing Beach Volleyball. The sports game comes with Frisbee, Bocce, Archery, Beach Volleyball, Table Tennis, and Gladiator. I really like the Beach Volleyball; it’s much more in-depth than the games that came with the Wii. There is actually quite some strategy to them and the motion sensor system is much more accurate.

All in all, it’s an interesting addition to the PS. I really prefer not to play on the Wii as the resolution sucks a lot. I can’t say how they can use it to their advantage, as there are only a couple of launch games. The good news is they are releasing new downloadable content for some of the heavier games to convert them to Move-compatible. Games such as Resident Evil 5 and Heavy Rain. I’ve always been interested in Heavy Rain, so I’ll pick up a used copy and try it out. I heard Socom 4 will also be for the Move. Hope the games are good.

Anyway, time for bed…I almost finished all three medals for Beach Volleyball!

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Amongst the other songs, I’ve chosen these as my special songs.

流金歲月 – 葉蒨文: I’ve always felt a special bond with this song. It reminds me of how limited in time we each have in this world.

空凳 – 夏韶聲: Sorry I can’t embed the slow version, so you will have to watch this faster pace version. I’ve never liked this song, until a couple of years ago when I heard it again. Since then, it’s a song that brings tears to my eyes everytime I listen to it.

我要等的正是你 – 林憶蓮; 陳百強: There’s no video on YouTube of this song, which is too bad, since it’s a great song that no one knows. I used to listen to this song a lot when I was in high school and it soothes me to sleep during nights I that I can’t sleep. It was released in 1991 but I felt it was more suited for the 80s.

偶遇 – 林志美: For me, this song signified the 80s. It is a sad song about loneliness.

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05/05/2010 Wedding Procession

Welcome. My name is  <INSERT NAME>  and I have the privilege of performing this marriage ceremony today.

We are gathered here today, at Villa San Michele in the beautiful Tuscany, to celebrate the marriage of Elton and Carmen. You may ask, why did we have to come to Italy to do what we could have done back home in Toronto? The reality is that beautiful moments should happen in beautiful places and most of life’s greatest experiences require a journey of some dimension. Elton and Carmen would like to thank all of you for making the journey to share in this most special of days.

We come together not to mark the start of a relationship, but to recognize a bond that already exists. This marriage is one expression of the many varieties of love. Love is one, though its expressions are infinite. It is fitting to speak briefly about love. We live in a world of joy and fear, and search for meaning and strength in the seeming disorder. We discover the truest guideline to our quest when we realize love in all its magnitudes. Love is the eternal force of life. Love is the force that allows us to face fear and uncertainty with courage. But, you must “be of love a little more careful than of anything.”

The giving of yourself in love is difficult, for you must learn to give of your love without total submission of yourself. Therefore, in your giving, give your joy, your sadness, your interest, your understanding, your knowledge – all expressions that make up life. But in this giving, remember to preserve yourself – your integrity, your individuality. This is the challenge of love within marriage.

Although you will be sharing one life, never forget, you are two separate people. Cherish and affirm your differences. Love each other.  Keep your commitment primary. Together you will laugh and cry, be sick and well, be happy and angry, share and grow.

Grow, sometimes together, sometimes separately.  But never remain stagnant. Love and life are always changing, always new.

If you will ensure a healthy lasting marriage, always, always value each other. Although you will disagree, remember to respect each other’s feelings, needs, and wants. And above all, always remember to have a sense of humor.

It is in this spirit, I know, that you two have come to be married. So let us proceed.

Elton, today you join your life to Carmen’s.

Will you have her as your wedded wife, to live together in the covenant of faith, hope, and love?

Will you listen to her deepest thoughts, be tenderhearted, kind, and wise in your daily care of her, and do you promise to stand faithfully at her side as a loving and devoted husband, in sickness and in health?

Will you encourage her in times of doubt, comfort her in times of sorrow, and honor her always?  And will you cherish and adore every moment of your life together as long as you both shall live?

<ANSWER: I will.>

Carmen, today you join your life to Elton’s.

Will you have him as your wedded husband, to live together in the covenant of faith, hope, and love?

Will you be his partner and companion, lover and best friend and will you find joy in his successes as well as the ones you share together?

Will you promise to stand by his side and be his loving, faithful, and devoted wife, in sickness and in health?

Will you promise to laugh with him through good times, to struggle with him through bad, and appreciate him always?

Will you undertake to care for his happiness and well-being?

And will you cherish and adore every moment of your life together as long as you both shall live?

<ANSWER: I will.>

<Elton’s Vows>

From this day forward, I have chosen you, Carmen, to be my wife,

In the presence of these witnesses, let this be my sacred promise to stay by your side as your faithful and loyal husband

I will love you and laugh with you,
I will give you comfort in times of happiness and protect you in times of sorrow,
I will give you the warmth in my arms and the home to return to every day,
I will strive to be the joy in your heart, and the food for your soul,
And I will never take you for granted, and I will always give thanks for your presence.

I promise to grow together with you, along by your side,
And be willing to face life’s changes to keep our relationship budding and alive.

I choose now to walk this path with you, wherever it leads, whatever the outcome,
To travel with you through the adventures of life, loving you beside me, in all that we will find,
I commit to you my friendship, my faith, and my love
And create a lifetime of memories, for the both of us to enjoy

And I promise to bring out the best in you always, and for you, to be the best husband that I can,
Always and forever

Here, at San Michele, a landmark that has withstood the test of time through many centuries,
This is my pledge to you, my wife Carmen, for the rest of my days

************************************************************************************

<Carmen’s Vows>

My Dearest Elton,
On our wedding day, I think of all the reasons
I am blessed to be your wife:

You are the joy of my life.
In you I found much more than I ever hoped,
more than I ever dreamed a man could be.
In your arms, I feel happy, safe, protected.
You’re my hero, my defender, my soul mate, my love.

There was a space in my heart that you fill perfectly.
I fall in love with you again every time I see you.

We are alike, and yet we are different.
Our similarities bond us together,
and our differences keep things interesting.
And no matter what,
you let me be me, just as I am.
I am so grateful for that.

I want to keep discovering you.
I love so many things about you now,
and I know I will find many more to love.

The many little things you do to please me
touch me more than you know.
You see me with your heart,
and you always make me feel beautiful.

This is the beginning
of the rest of our lives together.
We have so much happiness ahead of us,
a lifetime of love,
a lifetime to create wonderful memories.
Nothing matters more than being with you.
I love you; I trust you; I am totally open to you.

Everything that’s woman in me responds to the man in you,
And as we become husband and wife,
I want you to know that there will never be
anyone else for me but you,
my husband, my love, my life.

************************************************************************************

The circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the universe. It is a symbol of holiness and of perfection and of peace. This ring is a symbol of unity, in which your two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle.

Elton, please place this ring on Carmen‘s finger and repeat after me:

I give you this ring to wear upon your hand as a symbol of our unity. I hope that you will wear this ring as a reminder that I love you every single day of your life.

Carmen, please place this ring on Elton‘s finger and repeat after me:

I give you this ring to wear upon your hand as a symbol of our unity. I hope that you will wear this ring as a reminder that I love you every single day of your life.

Elton and Carmen, you have expressed your desire to be husband and wife. You have shown your love and affection by joining hands and making promises of devotion to one another, and you have sealed these promises by the giving and receiving of rings. I would now like to invite <INSERT NAME> to come up and read a passage that Elton himself wrote many years ago, that they find fitting during this important day.

“Life is a Journey, not a Destination”

How many times have you heard of this phrase? Both you and I understand what it means, but why is it framed in such a way?

I believe that, as with most journeys, you travel from A, where you are, to B, which is the destination. But as with most journeys, you must have a destination. For many people, this is not as easy as it seems. Where is your destination? If you don’t have one, or if the destination is far-reaching, then the journey becomes infinitely longer.

Pretend that this journey is like backpacking around the world. You meet people along the way, but most of them you will never see again; their existence to you, as you to them, is a speck in their lives…virtually never to be remembered again. The further you go, the more people you meet, the more things you collect and keep, throwing them into your backpack as a token of being at that particular place, at that particular time; something to take out to treasure and cherish whenever you wish. But how far are you going? If it’s too far, the things you keep become infinitely heavier, bogging you down and you walk ever so slower, which makes the destination look even further.

The key question is, what are you doing with this backpack?

Every so often, people pretend they’ve dropped their backpack; they’ve left it all behind…but as they continue their journey, they realize that the more souvenirs they collect, their old ones are still on their back.

For some people, once they’ve found a companion to share this journey with, their backpacks can be equally shared, and there is someone to talk to along the way, to make sure the travel becomes more enjoyable, to be able to read maps and road signs together, and make sure there is less likelihood of getting lost.

But for those people who only let the other person carry everything, you will not be travelling in equal speeds, and eventually they will be left behind; and in some cases, they may just throw down their backpacks and disappear from your life altogether.

Remember always to give to one another new experiences of joy. Challenge each other so that you may grow together, and walk this path of life with excitement, and companionship.

<Get and hold doves>

Doves choose one partner for life and make this commitment until death. The white dove has been used throughout history as a symbol of Love, Peace, Purity, Faithfulness and Prosperity. It is said that if doves are seen on your wedding day, a happy home is assured. These birds released here today represent the love and commitment you have given to one another this day. From this day forward, whenever you see a white dove, may you be reminded of this moment.

<release doves>

Elton and Carmen, as this procession ends, let this mark the beginning of a new life together, with each other, and with all of your family and friends.

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitement a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding. And long, long years from now, may you look at one another and be able to say “Because of you, I have lived the life I always wanted to live; Because of you, I have become the person I longed to be.”

Always remember to do the simple and beautiful things that will make this love a treasure. Play. Communicate with each other. Laugh often.  Focus on what you want and entice your intentions into being.  Plan together for the things that are important to the both of you, and do them.

This love is to be nurtured, to be lived out to the fullest in every aspect of its dreams – in the simple activities of shared daily life, in realized hopes and long-deferred plans, in a quality of emotional exchange and spiritual communion toward which the whole of your life has been leaning.

And finally, be thankful for each other.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss your bride!

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Firstly, we had to choose the venue. Shortly after we returned to Toronto Carmen enthusiastically looked for a wedding dress. Eventually she chose the Casablanca dress from an Italian boutique up in Vaughan called Amadalina’s. The owner was Italian and gave her a couple of good ideas as to where in Italy are the best places to get married. One of her suggestions was on the outskirts of Florence called Fiesole. It was situated above Florence and had a fantastic view of the city below. Googling the venues around the area Carmen found Villa San Michele. We both admired the sheer beauty of the location from the website and knew right away it wasn’t a place we were remotely close to being able to afford. Looking just at the room rates made us cringe…600 euros per night for a standard room!

However, I’ve always lived by a belief that I’ve time and time again proven to be useful. No matter what you think, you should always try or ask to see if you’re wrong. And lucky for us I stuck to that belief. I emailed them asking how much it cost to host a wedding at their courtyard. Their response was very surprising. 600 euros to book the courtyard! That seemed extremely fair, considering it cost the same to book an average ceremony venue in Toronto. My next question though, was the key. I asked them if we had to be guests at the hotel in order to have our ceremony there. And when they responded no, we knew we had hit a homerun! Their only request was for us to have our dinner reception there, which we were planning on doing anyway. And we had no problems with the food there. An inquiry on TripAdvisor told us that Villa San Michele had a world-class restaurant and cooking school.

After some discussion as to what we should choose as our dinner menu we finally decided on the following:

Sfogliatina tiepida di Asparagi Salsa al Limone
Warm puff pastry with asparagus filling in a lemon sauce

Tortelloni di Melanzane e Caprino Salsa al Timo
Ravioli with aubergines and goat-cheese filling in a fresh thyme sauce

Tagliata di Manzo al Brunello con Spinaci Legumi di Stagione
Thinly sliced sirloin of beef with Brunello wine sauce and spinach Vegetables in season

Piccola Charlotte al Grand Marnier Salsa all’Arancia amara
Grand-Marnier charlotte served with bitter orange sauce

Friandises
Caffè

All at a cost of roughly 105 euros per guest (+VAT). Seemed like a reasonable cost. We weren’t going to have a lot of people coming anyway, so we knew we got ourselves a good deal.

I’d like to compare the amount of money we spent with another wedding the Villa recently did before ours. Apparently, a couple booked the entire villa of 47 rooms for A WEEK! They flew in the French National Ballet team and had Andrea Bocelli perform! Seriously, I’m sure that was a million dollar wedding! It’s always good to get a similar experience at a fraction of the other wedding’s VAT cost…lol

Next we had to figure out all the other stuff that came with a wedding overseas. We needed flowers, decoration, music, photography, makeup & hairdressing, transportation, officiant, PLUS all the other stuff that goes with vacationing such as airfare, accomodations, etc.

We ended up hiring a wedding planner in Italy. We believed that it was the best choice for us since many of the vendors didn’t speak English, and we wanted to make sure we get what we order. After asking around we ended up hiring IC Bellagio. They are a travel agency that has wedding planning on the side. We began dealing with Nicoletta, but after a few months she resigned and a girl named Frederica took over. She ended up booking the flowers, makeup & hairdressing, and transportation for us. Since we wanted to have all the legal paperwork done in Toronto we only wanted a symbolic ceremony, and apparently a real officiant cost a ridiculous amount of money in Italy. Luckily for us, the Villa offered to assist us in officiating for free. They just needed us to provide the scripture they need to read out (more on that later).

In the meantime we also decided we wanted a harpist (Carmen was adamant for one), and we wanted something really cool, so we booked a pair of doves for a dove release. We also saved a ton for going minimal on the decorations. The venue was already beautiful in itself, so we didn’t need any elaborate decor.

We also chose Villa Antea to be our base of operations. It was about 15-20 mins by taxi away from Villa San Michele, but it was very affordable and would be an excellent choice for photos as well. We ended up booking the entire hotel! (there were only 6 rooms). Take a look at these photos and tell me it’s not amazing!

http://www.villaantea.com/photo_gallery.phtml

For photography, we decided we didn’t want to be frugal here. If we were going to pull this off, we better have someone to document it! So we hired Joee Wong of JW Photography to come along with us directly from Toronto. He subsequently subcontracted the second shooter position to Claudia of Claudia Hung Weddings, and we’ve since become good friends.

Finally, we originally planned not to hire a videographer. We felt we were going over budget and wanted to save wherever possible. However, to our surprise, one of our favourite wedding cinematography companies (and one of the best in the world), Still Motion (EXPENSIVE!!!!), had a departure in the spring of 2010 and Joee was going to partner up with this individual. We eventually met with Konrad and in the end gave in and hired him. We knew Still Motion had the best video, and it’s not something we can pass up when someone leaves the company and can offer an affordable video that blows you away. So in the end, Joee, Claudia, and Konrad came along with us to Italy. And to tell you the truth, having these three come with us to Italy was the best decision we ever made. We knew the quality of media production in Toronto far exceeds what we would be able to find in Italy and they were also a lot of fun to hang out with. Kudos, to you guys!

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Over the past week I finally got our TIFF tickets (after someone screwed up my order for one of the movies) and had a chance to watch half of them.

Well, Black Swan, Womb, and I Saw The Devil are Ada and Peter’s movies. I got to watch Return of the Fist (with Max), Bunraku, and Vanishing on 7th St. This first half are actually movies I want to see. Carmen’s picks are this week, so we will be watching Norwegian Wood, All About Love, and Confessions. Then on Saturday I’m finishing it off with Stake Land with Max.

Return of the Fist was so-so. I mean, why ruin a good thing? So basically they took Bruce Lee’s character in Fist of Fury (in which he imminently died at the end), made it so that he DIDN’T die, took him to France to fight in WW1, then brought him back to Shanghai to don on a mask to look like Kato and become a superhero (WHAT?). Also, too much talking….everyone just wanted to see Donnie fight. Also, Donnie didn’t even come to the screening. In fact, no one did except for the director Andrew Lau. Boo!

Carmen really liked Bunraku. It was actually quite an interesting style for a movie. Basically the premise is that the world is set during an undisclosed timeline, but I would assume it to be anywhere from an alternate 50s-present. The story is about a time where guns were outlawed so everyone was just butchering one another with knives, swords, axes, etc. There was a crime lord who had 9 killers work under him conveniently numbered 2-10. Then, a drifter (Josh Hartnett), a samurai (Gackt), and a bartender (Woody Harrelson) joined forces to them down. Each had their own reasons to fight him. The backdrop was a weird red all over. This is because by definition Bunraku is a puppet theatre,  so the entire background looks fake and sort of like a pop-up book. Even the moon looks like it was made from origami. Pretty cool indeed. In fact, all the main characters were at the opening (except Demi Moore).

The Vanishing on 7th St was my favourite movie for this year’s TIFF and it didn’t disappoint (at least not a whole lot). The story revolved around the fact that one day everyone vaporized. There were only a few people left, and the reason why they were still alive was they were in the company of some sort of light when all the lights went out everywhere.  So the story is about people vaporizing because the “shadows” took them. Mind you, it was actually quite haunting and foreboding. So kudos to the director Brad Anderson. But the really bad part was the imminent demise of everyone. I mean….you could see it coming since the beginning of the movie. You can’t make something this big and expect people to survive it.  Well, at least he didn’t try to explain it (which would have totally ruined the movie).  Hayden Christensen and Thandie Newton were there and sat a few rows behind us.

Next was Patricia and Alex’s wedding on September 12th. Carmen helped out Stella as co-GMs and I took polaroids of everyone. Here are some pics from the wedding:

With the beauty of the iPhone 4′s iMovie App, I was able to create a decent movie clip summary of the wedding (all on my phone!)

Here is the final clip. Hey, I know it’s amateurish, but it only took me 5 mins to make it!

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Faded Photographs (original published date: November 23, 2006)

“Inklets of our memories sear like raindrops on my soul for all eternity…”

Remember when you took photographs of the two of you together? When you first looked through them, it meant nothing…just a snapshot of a frame in your life, a reminder if you will, of a place you’ve been or an activity you were doing.

Now, after they’re gone, you begin to look at each photograph more carefully, and you will see things you’ve never noticed before.

The contour of each facial expression you now find in each picture also encapsulates an emotion of a moment in time…an emotion that you can now see clearly in each background, each inanimate object, each particle of air that was captured with the two of you…an emotion you so deeply long for now, even just for a fraction of a second. You pain yourself in knowing that time can only move in one direction; their elusive smile that was once exclusively yours will never be ever again.

Suddenly, everything becomes a lifetime ago, as you sit there, holding onto the photographs, staring into nothingness. As you look into each moment, it feels like changing channels on a television, each photograph depicting a different time, at a different place; but the actors were still the same…with each flicker burning imprints into your soul like a hot branding iron searing through your heart. No matter how many teardrops soil these windows to an unreachable Eden, your soul will never return.

I created this collage in dedication to someone once special, R:

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